The One About a Small Blue Dent

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when i was 13, they told me to guard my heart.
“don’t let anyone in,” they said, “or a piece of them will stay there
forever.”
when i was 16, i went to dinner with a boy
his car door opened into mine, a little too hard
a small blue dent embedded into the passenger side of my taurus
he laughed, “a piece of my car will stay there
forever.”
when i was 17, i backed away.
i wasn’t guarding my heart, i told him
i needed to be more careful
when i was 18, i jumped back in
he got me flowers and got me through life
i stopped guarding my heart, forgot to
because i wanted him to have it
forget caution, i wanted to be wanted
when i was 19, he backed away
forever
and i thought a piece of him would stay on my heart
forever
like the small blue dent embedded into the passenger side of my taurus
after all, that’s what they told me would happen
i hadn’t guarded my heart, and i would never be able to get over that
now i would never have a whole heart to give someone else
my heart would be damaged, marked
forever
but today, at 21, i went grocery shopping
and i randomly remembered that dent when i parked my car
i searched and i searched
scoured that door
but i couldn’t find a dent on my car
there was no small blue dent embedded into the passenger side of my taurus
i checked my heart, too
and all of it was there
100% of it, beating and healthy
functioning properly, with no small blue dents embedded into the passenger side

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